I finally conceded defeat trying to buy furniture and decided to call in the professionals.

I do fancy myself as a bit of a home decorator… strictly amateur and small time.  When I was in school the Chinese chicks used to get me to design their rooms in the boarding house.  It was all very straw baskets and dead (dried) flowers.

Does anyone remember a store in Australia called Cargo Hold?  It was really the cane and wicker answer to CopperArt. Don’t ask me what the US version of CopperArt is? Think a super-discount version of Pottery Barn and then add a whole lots of  Tchotchkes made of copper or brass. In Australia the word CopperArt is synonymous with ‘tacky and cheap’. Its possible that there is not an Australian alive,  over age 35, that doesn’t know the meaning of the insult, ‘CopperArt Special’.

I always knew CopperArt was hideous (honest!) but I thought Cargo Hold was pretty awesome back then.  That, and David Wang in Melbourne’s Chinatown, were the only places you could get any remotely ‘ethnic’ looking pieces.  There was no Made in Japan or Habitat in those days. Was there even an Ikea? I certainly didn’t know about it if there was.

My piece-de-resistance back in the day was a wicker parrot sitting on a swing. This parrot was the bomb!

Not only was this parrot bright green with an orange beak and a yellow glass eye, it had a twist-top head!  Seriously!  You could screw his head off and hide stuff inside his body.  He was my own personal safe. I used to hide money inside him and marvel at how cool it was. There was no way anyone was going to assume a stupid tchotchke swinging bird (sorry, fabulous green parrot) was hiding dollar bills inside his stomach.

There was no doubt. I was a SuperGenius.

Wyle E Coyote (Super Genius)

Wyle E Coyote (Super Genius)

Except if the potential thief accidentally knocked their head on the swing.  Then the head would topple off.

A definite a setback.


2 responses to “Decorator

  1. Ah yes, Copper Art. Definitely the cashed-up bogan grannies’ idea of gift and interior design heaven.

    Adelaide had/has LeCornus (your husband will know). Think of the cheapest, nastiest, larger pieces of furniture (lounge suites, cupboards, beds etc) staple gunned together and likely to fall apart at just my withering glance….

  2. Aaaagh! Staple gunned furniture. Feral.

    I had Julie the decorator in today. She was awesome!

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