The Most Elegant Event on Earth

The Brownlow Medal

If you’ve ever lamented the passing of Audrey Hepburn and with it the end of chic then do not despair. The Brownlow Medal is here to demonstrate that true elegance is not dead! The Emmy’s have NOTHING on these beauties!

So that you are not overcome with glamour I have divided the dresses into sections for your viewing pleasure.

All images are ripped-off directly from www.theage.com.au

We will start with the colour that best shows of the fake tan – White.  It’s also useful because you can re-use your deb dress.  See – economy!

WHITE

Pass the cake knife...

Pass the cake knife...

This reminds me of the Italian-Australian girl I used to go to school with you had a knockout body but wore the tackiest shit imaginable.

This reminds me of the Italian-Australian girl I used to go to school with you had a knockout body but wore the tackiest shit imaginable.

This lady with the enviable physique wins the award for the Most Frightening Fake Tan of the Evening.

This lady with the enviable physique wins the award for the Most Frightening Fake Tan of the Evening. But I'm glad she wore White to show it to its full glory!

A strange mixture of rock chic studs, grecian bodice and drop-waisted full skirt. Choose one style and stick to it.

A strange mixture of rock chic studs, Grecian bodice and drop-waisted full skirt. Ick!

The Post-Modern

I assume this dress is statement about the obsolescence of the media... my TV used to look like this right before it blew a tube.

I assume this dress is statement about the obsolescence of the media... my TV used to look like this right before it blew a tube.

Celebrity-Inspired

Very often the tabloids are the places where we get the ideas for our dress-up moments.  Tip: If you decide get inspired by a celebrity look – check to see if everyone thought it was rubbish the first time around.  Chances are you will not improve upon it.

If you're going to copy a celebrity look then don't copy the latest skanky ho.  Particularly when that ho is Megan Fox who is going to look WAYYY hotter than you are.

If you're going to copy a celebrity look then don't copy the latest skanky ho. Particularly when that ho is Megan Fox who is going to look WAYYY hotter than you are.

Megan Fox wearing the original.

Megan Fox wearing the original.

What in God's name? can someone please explain to me why some women think it is cute to dress up like Dakota Fanning before she hit puberty? Somehow this horror reminds me of a cross between the Oscar dresses worn by Lara Flynn-Boyle and Gwyneth Paltrow. We hated them too!

What in God's name? can someone please explain to me why some women think it is cute to dress up like Dakota Fanning before she hit puberty? Somehow this horror reminds me of a cross between the Oscar dresses worn by Lara Flynn-Boyle and Gwyneth Paltrow. We hated them too!

lara-flynn-boyle-ballerinaGwyneth-Paltrow_l

The Almosts and the Pretty Good

I can see what she's trying to do here. I really can.  There are too many tapes for a dress that is cut to the thigh.  Maybe it looked better when she let it hang down long?

I can see what she's trying to do here. I really can. There are too many tapes for a dress that is cut to the thigh. Maybe it looked better when she let it hang down long?

Apart from the 'Carry On' hair do - this look could have worked.  It's too shapeless for her though.  If she threw a belt on it wouldn't swamp her so much.

Apart from the 'Carry On' hair do - this look could have worked. It's too shapeless for her though. If she threw a belt on it wouldn't swamp her so much.

I think this woman looks great!  Perhaps a slightly less wide belt might have helped but this is definitely one of the evening's winners!

I think this woman looks great! Perhaps a slightly less wide belt might have helped but this is definitely one of the evening's winners!

Okay - a little too girly for my personal taste but this dress is cut to perfection and she wears it perfectly.

Okay - a little too girly for my personal taste but this dress is cut to perfection and she wears it perfectly.

EMBELLISHED

These flowers were copied from a Hallmark Card that she gave to her Gran for her 75th Birthday. Shame we can't see the back. I have high hopes for a poem!

These flowers were copied from a Hallmark Card that she gave to her Gran for her 75th Birthday. Shame we can't see the back. I have high hopes for a poem!

Image Source: www.theage.com.au

Black and White - you can't go wrong! Right?

Celebrity doctor Geoffrey Edelston and his fiance Brian.

Celebrity doctor Geoffrey Edelston and his fiance Brian.

Did her 80 year old catholic grandmother chose it?
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3 responses to “The Most Elegant Event on Earth

  1. Ah you were clearly my mate Jill’s and my spiritual sartorialist – I particularly loved the white studded car seat cover dress and the Boobarella at the end just sealed the deal.

    I also liked the two that you liked – esp the white one and black belt. The blue caftan-wearer is married to the (current) biggest tool in football, Brendan Fevola. He apparently got ludicrously drunk that night and interfered with the telecast. Some reporter was cheeky enough to chat to his wife (she with the Carry On hair) and she said, “Oh he’s big enough and ugly enough to take care of himself. I’ve got to get home and look after our kids.” Ouch!

  2. You can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl.

    Honestly, what are they thinking? Of course, the media only shows the worst – there must have been some women in attendance who did have more taste and sense. But then, they are partnering footballers… ;.)

    The Melbourne plastic surgeons must be buying Ferraris with all the implant jobs they’re doing on this lot.

    I’ll agree that Chris Judd’s wife/partner was the winner.

  3. “Celebrity doctor Geoffrey Edelston and his fiance Brian”???? Don’t tell me, he’s a plastic surgeon specialising in gender reassignment. Brian could have at least changed his name.

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