Holiday Hassles

I found this comment by Brian Thacker amusing because I start to lose my mind after being hassled too much when on vacation.

There are so many countries with armies of touts ready to jump on you. I’m quite good at ignoring them, but sometimes I just snap. I was at the ruins (lots of piles of bricks) of Polonnaruwa in Sri Lanka and by the time I got to the second pile of bricks I was ready to kill someone. I couldn’t walk ten metres without a tout trying to sell me a coconut shell carved into a monkey’s head. And these were a particularly persistent bunch, too. I’ve spent years fine-tuning my techniques for getting rid of touts, but none of my tactics seemed to work. I tried being polite, but that was a waste of time. I’m very good at completely and utterly ignoring touts, but even that time-tested trick didn’t work. I also tried my pretending-to-speak-an-obscure-foreign-language and my old favourite (which I first used to resounding success in the Moroccan souks): putting my arm around their shoulders and singing love songs to them. In the end, I was so hot and bothered that when one fellow just wouldn’t go away I resorted to the tried and tested ‘F**K OFF and leave us alone, or I’ll shove that monkey’s head up your a**e!’
‘Are you Australian?’ he asked sheepishly.
‘You Australians always tell me to f**k off,’ he sighed.

From the travel blog


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